Jake

Today, May 1st, is the 4 year anniversary of when Jake asked me to be his girlfriend and we went on our first real date. I've talked about some of the non-prince blokes...it's time for Jake to take the stage.

Jake and I met for the first time when I was 16. Like I've said before, my parents moved our family to a little town in Northern California at the end of 2004. It was fairly traumatic, but shortly after moving I started making friends and feeling more comfortable. I got involved with a church very quickly, as did my parents. So involved, in fact, that my parents hosted the staff meeting for 2005's youth summer camp at their house early that spring. That was the first time I met Jake. I thought he was cute, but quickly forgot about him. After all, he was obviously too old for me, considering he was at the staff meeting.

We ran into each other at youth camps over the next two years. He was going to college out of the area and was only home for during the summer and Christmas break. Coincidentally those were the times that youth camps were scheduled. At one winter camp I did develop a wee bit of a crush on him. However, very quickly after camp I moved on. He was not an option anyways, since he was five years older, and at 16, that is a huge difference. At the following summer camp I found myself flirting with Jake again during the car ride from camp to river rafting and back. Now that I had actually talked with him for some time, I thought he was a very nice guy. One who obviously loved the Lord. One who had some direction in life. One who was smart and funny. One who had gotten cuter since the last time I'd seen him. But, that summer I happened to be engrossed in my drama with The Frog, and when I returned to camp that evening The Frog was there for the camp fire and I once again forgot about Jake.

Fast forward to February, 2007. I was at a girls retreat. It was at this retreat that I really faced that fact that I had a bad habit of throwing my heart at guys. That is what I had done with The Crush. It was what I had done with The Frog. I had trusted my value, my self-esteem, and my whole life to these guys without even a shady promise of anything in return. I let myself become completely infatuated with these boys waaaaaaay to early and ended up getting really hurt. I made a commitment to God that weekend that I would stop doing that. I would stop trusting random guys with my heart so quickly. I also decided that I wouldn't assume that guys liked me. I had pretty high self-esteem and was rather full of myself because of it. I just *knew* that every guy wanted me. Heck, I even was flirting with Jake at that one summer camp when there was no way he and I would ever amount to anything. I was really a piece of work.

Rewind real quick to a month before. I had started going to a different church than the one my family had been attending. I had been invited by a friend and was really liking it. It just so happened that Jake's family went to this church. It just so happened that he had been coming home from college on the weekends and was going to that church. It just so happened that the friend who had invited me was also friends with Jake. It just so happened that we ended up sitting next to each other at church on more than one occasion. The week before this weekend in February we had been having a discussion about how to study the Bible properly.

Ok, back to February. So I made this commitment to guarding my heart. And I was serious about it. Never again would I assume a guy was interested in me and promptly give away my heart. I was going to be responsible.

The very next day at church I was sitting next to Jake and he gave me a piece of paper. It was Psalm 19 typed out and covered in hand written notes and an explanation on how they all worked together. Anyone else would have thought "That's nice of him." My mind immediately thought "Oh he likes me, look at all this effort. WAIT! Nope, I'm not going there." I thanked him for the paper and promptly tried to forget it ever happened. Do you see a pattern yet? Jake was the guy I kept trying to forget about. He was too good for me. I was destined to end up with a troubled guy. I just knew it. Jake seemed too...too...nice.

For the next few weeks at church it seemed like he sought me out to sit next to me. One week in March when we were seated a few people apart he passed me a note, just to say hello. I noticed my friend, the one who had invited me, and her husband sitting in between us giving each other an odd look. That afternoon Jake went to lunch with us (myself and that friend's family). By the end of March he started coming into my work. I could tell he didn't drink coffee regularly, but he was coming in anyways. We started emailing back and forth about various things. God, movies, music, work, life, even the future. He was very sly, working in the big questions with the less important ones. "What's your favorite movie? I like (blahblahblah). Also, where do you see yourself working in ministry in the future?" "Do you like to hike? How big of a family do you see yourself with?" Sneaky, right? Apparently, because I totally didn't catch on. I was trying so hard to ignore any hints that I missed them completely.

But I was beginning to like him. He was fun. He was funny. He and I had a lot of the same interests. I started trying to make ways for us to hang out. My car was making a funny noise, so I called him. He knew a lot about cars, so I thought he might be able to help. *innocent smile* We both had dogs, so maybe we could take them to the lake together. *innocent smile*

He was on to me, and there was a big problem: I was still technically in high school and he was working with youth ministry at our church. The rule was no youth worker may be involved with a youth. That didn't deter him too much. He planned a bbq for a bunch of people to go to. He offered to come check my car while I was at work. I invited friends over for movie nights just so we could hang out. I also started going to the college Bible study he had been going to for years. Someone very wise once told me "Don't chase guys...but don't be afraid to get in their way." Yes, I started going to this particular Bible study because Jake was there. And I'm not ashamed to say so.

So now it's the middle of April. One Sunday after church I told Jake that I was going to the lake with my dog. It was a beautiful day and she was in need of a walk.

He just so happened to show up. We sat on the shore and talked all afternoon. We talked about everything and nothing. That night we continued the conversation at Bible study. That was it. I liked him. I went home and cried at my mom. This wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't supposed to fall for Jake. I was actually a little pissed about it.

He called me the next day. Apparently we were both thinking the same thing: enough tip toeing...we needed to talk about this. He called to ask if I would be interested in going to get dessert with him. He wanted to talk with me about "some stuff." Before I even had a chance to answer he asked me what my dad's cell number was because he wanted to ask him if it was ok if we went out. Sweet right? My dad must have said yes because I met Jake at the diner that night for milkshakes.

I drank mine in about a minute.

He didn't take a single sip of his.

Finally we got around to talking. Jake, very nervously, told me that he liked me, and wanted to court me. He told me flat out that he was looking for a woman who was marriage material. He explained that he didn't want to just date me...he was very interested in finding out if I was the woman who would become his wife.

Luckily for him, I liked him and I also wasn't interested in just dating either. Great, that was out of the way. But there still was one slight problem. I wasn't supposed to graduate until May 15th. Then, on May 18th, I was leaving the country for two and a half months. Yikes. Jake told me he didn't care, and that he'd wait for me. Until then we'd keep doing what we were doing. Hanging out with friends and not dating.

While we were sitting there talking, my mom happened to be pulling some strings behind the scenes and long story short, she ended up calling me and telling me that I actually would graduate May 1st. That was *counting fingers* only a week away! That also meant that we'd get to actually go on a date or two before I was out of the country for what would feel like forever.

As soon as Jake got to his car after that dessert he called my dad again and set up a meeting. You Sonlight laides likely remember that dinner. My dad asked Jake every question under the sun. He also had spent the two days prior interviewing people he knew who knew Jake. Luckily Jake had been working in youth ministry for so long that the youth pastors at both churches knew him well, as did their wives, as did the senior pastors. Even before the dinner Dad knew that Jake was a pretty great guy.

Jake passed "the test" with my dad and a couple days later, May 1st to be exact, he called me first thing in the morning and asked me out. We went on our first real date that night and he asked me to be his girlfriend.

 

our friend's wedding...our first public date

Next I'll tell you about how we made it through almost 3 months of living in different countries after only dating for 3 weeks and how he proposed. Very sweet. But this blog post is already super long, so you'll have to wait.