There are so many people "suggesting" that we do things a certain way. Have kids right now. Wait five years. Move to a big city. Get a career started. Work for a big corporation. Own a big house. So much pressure to know what life will look like. "When is Jake getting his engineering license?" "Are you pregnant yet?" "When will you buy a house" "How many kids are you going to have?" "Are you ready for next semester?" "How's your nursing career coming along?" And so on. I have one question for all of them:
When you had been married six months, did you have it all figured out?!
What is this obsession with a "five year plan?" Why do we even have to know what is going to happen in the next six months? We're learning how to be married right now. We're learning how to trust God with our future.
How come thats not enough?
I understand being interested in what our lives are going to look like. People have invested in our lives and they're genuinely curious. I would be to! I just wish that I didn't feel so looked down upon for not knowing what the future holds. "We're waiting on God" sounds like we're not making any effort. "We don't know" sounds like we're not taking life seriously. I wish we knew. I really do. Last night I cried for an hour about not knowing. We're talking big alligator tears and a bed full of tissues. Jake doesn't have quite the dramatic reaction to it, but he was right there with me.
I actually am very nervous about not knowing. I know that whatever happens, God will provide for us, and trust him completely. I'm still scared.
You sound very normal to me! BTW, I am Kelly, one of your mom's SLer friends :)
ReplyDeleteEven when you think you have it all figured out, God has a funny way of saying NO WAY BUDDY! So just keep learning and growing together. That is a great goal for now. Learning to be married. It takes some people years to figure out they need to learn that!
It really is okay to not have it all figured out. Shoot, we've been married 8 1/2 years and we don't have it figured out! :hug:
ReplyDeleteYour dad and I still don't have it figured out and we've been married 21 years!! Sometimes we're still trying just to figure out how to be married to each other.
ReplyDeleteFunny thing about plans, God has them too. Make yours all you want but His are still the ones that will happen.
love, mom
Our first year was all about which side of the roller the toilet paper came off. Do we share toothpaste? Who does laundry and cooking when we are both working? How do we keep from gaining 30 lbs. each?
ReplyDeleteI don't think I've ever come to a point where I had the whole future planned out.
Proverbs 16:9
In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.
Proverbs 19:21
Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.
Maybe you can say that the future plans are all taken care of, but you're just waiting for God to reveal them to you.
Hugs from SL land.
We still don't have it all figured out and we just celebrated 15 years. You don't have to know! Just answer, "In God's time" to whatever the question. Try it out...it works! Sending you a hug, sounds like you need one.
ReplyDeleteLinda (mompotter on SL forums)
The first year of marriage is SO hard! I remember many nights spent crying...and I'm not a cryer! Not only do you have other people's expectations & desires, you have yours & your husband's to figure out. It's hard, but it's so worth it.
ReplyDeleteYou've got a good head on your shoulders, a great family, a loving husband, and a love for the Lord. Keep on serving Him, and everything else will fall into place in time.
The verse that I return to time & time again was the one that we chose for our wedding theme: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make your path straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
Praying for you, Princess Sweetie Pie!