So I've been praying basically all day. Shortly after I wrote my last blog, (in the shower praying) I suddenly felt this weight lifted off me. I was really OK with not knowing the future. Would knowing the future really help me with decisions I have to make today? It didn't work out so great for Abraham when he took Hagar.
So, I just wanted you all to know that I'm no longer in despair. I'd still like to know what the future holds, but I'm OK not knowing. Tonight at the couples' Bible study Jake and I go to one of the ladies asked (in fact a few of them did) if we'd had any revelations about our life together, regarding the future. (we had asked the group to be praying for us for guidance a few weeks ago). I didn't feel intimidated, defensive, ashamed, or pressured at all!! And as soon as Jake heard the question he ran over and said "Our five year plan is to win the lottery." He totally got to be my protector (a big plus for him). Being able to talk to my husband about things that are troubling me is really a great thing. I wish I had been humble enough to come to him in the first place. Things would have been much less tense around here the past few weeks. Anyways, I was able to just say "We really don't know, but I feel OK with that. Which is really great." And this lady (a dear friend of mine) cheerfully said "I've been thinking about you guys lately, and I thought of something: you're learning to be married! That's what your life looks like right now, and it's OK!" I just smiled and secretly rolled my eyes. Duh, I figured that out ages (translation: hours) ago.
Jake and I are learning how to love each other like Christ loves the church. That's our five year plan. Whatever happens along the way, as long as we're glorifying the Lord and seeking his wisdom, isn't anything to worry about.
So glad that you are feeling better.
ReplyDelete"Staying married and not killing each other", was my beloved's reply to several friends who asked "what are you....."
Just be aware that you'll figure you're getting it sorted out and things will change and it all starts over again :lol:
Hi! I am a friend of your mom's from over at SL.
ReplyDeleteI just saw your post from yesterday and your update. I am so very happy for you and your husband! You are both clearly seeking Him and on the right track and only God knows the treasures he has in store for you in your life together and that is exciting.
My husband and I have been married 16 years. One of the most freeing things that I realized somewhere along the way (and don't ask how long THAT took!) is that I didn't 'owe' anyone the right answer to those questions. I love your answers and your perspective on your update. Your 5 year plan to follow God's leading is better than any other 'plan' you can muster up. Figuring that out so early in your marriage is so fantastic and I am so happy for you! Learning to communicate together, study God's word together, pray together, follow Him together and and just love each other is more important than anything else. God will fill in the details according to His perfect timing. You will be blessed because you have your eyes and heart on the firm foundation.
My 19 year old niece is getting married in early August. I am so excited for her! Your posts have given me something to think about in ways that I can encourage her and her soon to be dh as they start this journey not far behind you. Thank you for sharing that!
Denise (Snow White at SL)
Do you want to crack God up?
ReplyDeleteTell Him what your plans are.
I have been married 21 years, and my dear husband and I are still making it up as we go along. (And the truth is, so is everybody else. They just might not want YOU to know that.)
Life is hard, but God is good.