Regrets?

I planned on going away to college because that's what you do. It was never really my dream.
I was on the track to get a career because that's what you do, but deep down I wanted something different.

I wanted to be a wife.

I was the only one of my friends who was interested in making that a priority. My childhood best friend graduated a couple weekends ago and is headed to medical school in the fall to become a neurologist. I'm so proud of her. She was always so driven in school and I've always known she do something big some day.

When I called her to tell her I was engaged at the tender age of 18 she was excited for me, but when I told her I was going to be married in five months, just three days after I turned 19, she just about choked on her soda.

"What about your future?"

"My future is with Jake," I told her.

Her future and self-worth have been wrapped in her education and credentials. There isn't anything wrong with that, she just can't wrap her head around the fact that I don't place the same importance on a college degree that she does.

Even when I was on track for a "real" career, the jobs I had in mind were such that I would be available to be a wife and mom first. Minimal and flexible hours, and a short-ish college track so I could get in and out as soon as possible.

It's kinda weird seeing all the pictures of my classmates graduating on facebook. That could have been me. I could be graduating this spring. I could be throwing my cap and making status updates that say "What now?" or "Gosh, now I have to find a job."

I'd be lying if I said that I didn't have a little regret from time to time that I didn't finish college. I even play with the idea of going back.

But the truth is: I'm SO happy where I'm at. I love the life I have. I get to be a stay at home wife and work along side my husband in our own business. That's not what my friends wanted, but it's what I want.

Coming back the question: what about your future? What about it? I have no idea what tomorrow holds. A friend's husband had a heart attack last week. She certainly didn't plan on that happening on Sunday afternoon when she was looking at weekly planner. Another friend has adopted nine of her ten children. She didn't plan on that when she got married.

Can you really plan for your life? I don't know what will happen tomorrow. So I live for today.

I don't mean that I'm selling all I own and going to spend my life hiking through the rain forest. But I don't see any overwhelming benefit to spending the time and money pursuing a college degree I don't plan on using.

Sure, I could have need for a degree in the future. But I might not. I'm choosing to live in the now, rather than the what if.

Most of my graduating friends don't have any more direction than they did when they started school. I'm not saying they made the wrong decision going to college. I'm just saying I am confident that I didn't make the wrong decision not going.