He's Just Not That Into You

Shortly after I broke things off with The Frog, Mom spoiled me rotten and took me on a weekend get away. We stayed in a fancy hotel. We saw a play. (The Importance of Being Ernest). We ate sushi. We got full body massages and mani/pedis. We gorged ourselves on chocolate. We talked about some of the guys she dated before meeting Dad. We watched chick flicks in the hotel and threw popcorn at the screen. And best of all, Mom bought me a book. A book that changed my life.

He's Just Not That Into You, by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. If you have a daughter who is entering the dating field, this book is for her. If you have a daughter who is dating a jerk boyfriend, this is the book for her. If you have a daughter who is recovering from a break up, this is the book for her. If you have a daughter who is in high school or older, this book is for her. And you. I especially think you should read it first if your daughter is not yet graduated from high school. Full disclosure: Greg and Liz are not Christian authors. The book definitely has a worldly slant. There is cussing and it talks about sex. It is geared towards grown women, college age and up. That does not negate the truth that is in this book.

Women and girls lie to themselves about guys all the time. They make excuses for guys' behavior and sell themselves short. They sit an analyze men and their actions, usually coming to the completely wrong conclusion. Greg and Liz are here to tell you He's Just Not That Into You! Here are some of the chapter titles:

• He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Asking You Out.
• He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Calling You.
• He's Just Not That Into You If He Only Wants To See You When He's Drunk.
• He's Just Not That Into You If He's Breaking Up With You.

The rest are just as good and just as true. You might be reading though that list thinking "Well, duh. Everyone knows those things," but think about it...did you make excuses for these guys? The guy who's not asking you out just went through a nasty break up, right? The guy who's not calling you is just super busy at his super stressful job, right? He's breaking up with you now, but you know he really loves you, right? Remember when you were there? They were legitimate feelings right? Your daughter is thinking the same things and making the same excuses for the same guys!  The feelings are just as legitimate for her. I have heard from dozens of girls that "I just can't talk to my parents about boys because they don't understand." I think what they're really saying is "my parents blow me off when I try to talk about things that are a big deal to me."

Anyways, this book got me through The Frog drama, and I would suggest you give it a read if you have a daughter of dating age. If nothing else it could give you some ideas of how to advise or comfort your daughter when she's getting ready to date, dating, or breaking up with a guy who's just not that into her. And it's an easy, fun read. The perfect thing for the post-boyfriend blues.